It’s Not Business, It’s Personal




It’s Not Business, It’s Personal

New Report Claims Some Reasons to Get Married—Like Taxes, Kids and Commitment—Aren’t Worth It Anymore; ‘Are We There Yet?’ Authors Dr. Paul and Terrie Chappell Ask: Is This Really What Marriage Is All About?

LOS ANGELES—A business publication is taking a look at marriage from a business perspective, claiming that some of the reasons for marriage—taxes, kids and commitment—aren’t necessarily valid any longer.

Is this really what marriage is all about? Not according to Dr. Paul Chappell and his wife of 37 years, Terrie, who are the authors of the new travel-themed marriage guide Are We There Yet? Marriage—a Perfect Journey for Imperfect Couples.”

Business Insider recently reported that “marriage is waning in popularity in contemporary culture” and that the “advantages previously associated with marriage—such as tax breaks, financial support and stability for children—are no longer relevant in many circumstances.”

The business publication made the argument that marriage is no longer worth it “for the taxes” (people mention taxes when they’re skipping out on the emotional argument and want to believe they’re making a logical one); “for the kids” (the article says many claim two-parent homes are better for child-rearing, but it doesn’t mean parents have to be married); or “for the commitment” (Business Insider claims that contracts can be broken, so they’re a false sense of security—security becomes comfort, and comfort makes us lazy.)

The Chappells say that the benefits of marriage are so much more than money and finances, and that God designed marriage to be a union between man and woman, and for the good of their future family. As for commitment, there should be no other that is deeper.

“God designed marriage to be a relationship where partners cleave to one another—like glue, they are inseparable,” Chappell said. “This word speaks of total acceptance and unconditional love and respect for one another. When God brought Eve to Adam, his immediate response was full and unconditional acceptance: ‘And Adam said, “This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh…”’ (Genesis 2:23). Truthfully, many people approach marriage with the idea that they can change their spouse after they are married. After marriage, most spouses find out that changing another person is not only impossible, but attempting to do so is damaging to their relationship.”

Chappell added that the instruction of Genesis 2 for a couple to cleave to one another includes that we accept and love our spouse for who they are.

“Total acceptance and unconditional love are not common in today’s relationships,” he continued. “Some would even say it is impossible or foolish. The world believes that couples who stay married 50, 60 and 70 years must have been perfect for each other—that their success is rooted in the fact that they were two lucky people who found their soulmates and that the rest of us mortals are foolish to insist on cleaving to one another during times of pain or difficulty. The world is wrong. Marriage, as God designed it, carries a commitment to cleave—to hold onto your spouse. It is a decision you make when you exchange marriage vows with one another and a decision you keep every day of your lives as you freely give acceptance and refuse to let your hearts wander from one another.”

Whether newlyweds or married for decades, husbands and wives will find truth in “Are We There Yet?” that will help them clarify their destination, communicate their needs, grow as a couple and even shed some baggage along the way. With chapter titles such as “Paying with Foreign Currency,” “Traveling Light,” “Roadblocks” and “Booking a Room,” “Are We There Yet?” explores topics from needs and forgiveness to conflict and intimacy.

Chappell has served as senior pastor of Lancaster Baptist Church for the past 31 years and is also the president of West Coast Baptist College.

Read more about Lancaster Baptist Church, West Coast Baptist College, “Are We There Yet?” and the Chappells here. For more information on Dr. Paul Chappell and Lancaster Baptist Church, visit or, or connect via social media on Facebook, Twitter or the church’s YouTube or Vimeo.